A Sleeping Valentine
by Snow Peppers
Summary: Vincent is a prince, put under a spell, and now all he does is sleep. You can wake him up, but you have to give him a kiss, and every girl wants to be the person to wake Vincent. But what happens when Cloud stumbles upon a sleeping prince? Vincent x Cloud
1. Sleeping Beauty?

'Long ago, in a time before you or me, a handsome prince put himself under a spell to get out of dealing with his ex-girlfriend, the Princess Lucrecia, who had coincidentally been knocked up by a rival prince. Before his long sleep, he was changed. You will know him if you see him. He wears a long, golden glove to hide an injury he received from the horrible rival prince, who was said to have been named 'Hojo', along with many other bodily changes. It is said that the only way to wake up the handsome prince is to give him a kiss…but nobody can remember where he is, so he sleeps, waiting for his true love to awaken him with a kiss. The End.' Tifa closed the book, looking at the bright-eyed young children. Everyone loved the tale of Prince Vincent. Girls dreamed of growing up and finding him one day, sleeping under a tree or out in a field, so they could awaken him with a kiss and probably marry him. Ever since the Lucrecia thing, he probably tried to look for a girl who would establish a concrete relationship early on and hide away somewhere secluded, to avoid dealings with potential competition. Tifa herself was fascinated with the story, because for once in a fairy tale, the damsel had to save the strong man, and it made her feel alive, which is why she read it to the children, all of them girls and only a few over the age of nine. Cloud stood in the corner of the room, smiling and rolling his eyes as Tifa told the girls that one day they might save the devastatingly handsome prince and fall in love. One girl raised her hand.

'Yes?'

'What does "knocked up" mean?' Tifa smiled at the girl.

'You'll know when you're older.'

'Ohhh…okay,' the girl said, nodding her head. Tifa put the book under her arm and began walking out the door. She slowed down to Cloud's emo corner and raised her eyebrows, nodding towards the door. He detached himself from the dark crevice of the structure to walk out with her.

'So…I hear you're going to Wutai for a week.'

'No, I haven't been talking about it for most of this week, Tifa.'

'Shut up! I just wanted to ask you something…'

'What?'

'If you run into an unconscious man with a golden glove, bring his body here so I can kiss him.'

'…'

'Cloud? Cloooud?'

'You're a freak. What if I'm traveling with a friend, who's a girl, like you?'

'You won't. Cloud, as far as I know, I'm the only friend-who-happens-to-be-a-girl that you know.'

'You make me seem anti-social…'

'You are kind of. Bye Cloud, see you tonight!' Tifa, at this point, ran off to care for more children, because she's motherly, and left Cloud to walk home.

The next day, Cloud began his journey. He was too mistrusting of commercial travel, so he decided to go on motorcycle, of course, to his destination of Wutai. He had packed everything he needed, because he had excelled in Boy Scouts as a young lad. Tifa dropped out of Girl Scouts, which was something Cloud liked to mock her for as he sorted mountains of badges for what seemed like the fourth time that day to poor Tifa. But now, he was alone, no badges or Tifa to have fun with, and while brooding, he conveniently forgot to stop to refill the gas on Fenrir. He knew he was almost to the inn he was staying in that night, though, so he didn't make too much of it. But, while engaging in an angsty flashback, he couldn't recall whether he had to turn right or left at the fork in the road, and decided in a fit of destiny-related stupidity, to turn left.

It didn't take long for Cloud to realize this wasn't the right way. There wasn't an inn in sight! He did, however, see a seemingly abandoned spooky old house. The cliché-ness of it all made Cloud more amused than afraid; there were cobwebs he had to flail through as he passed the front porch threshold and the stairs creaked. Fortunately, the door was unlocked, but it creaked itself open. Cloud sighed at it.

Cloud began to search the house, noticing the thick coating of dust and the small animals scurrying across the floor when they thought he wasn't looking. He didn't want to stay here, but his motorcycle was very low on gas, and he didn't like sleeping outside, because his hair frizzed. After inspecting the kitchen, he leaned back on what he assumed was a wall, only to feel it open slowly. Before he had time to react, because he was tired and frustrated, the door opened fully and it took a lot to keep Cloud from falling down the stairs. He straightened himself up and walked elegantly down the stairs. He found a light-bulb, trying to turn the lights on to properly inspect the basement. It smelled like mold…and something else. Something different, like a spice, but a spice you forgot about for thirty years. Instead, Cloud found a fresh, new white candle. He used some handy-dandy materia to light the candle; once lit, he saw the matches lying right beside the candle, but merely shrugged. You can't win 'em all, as Zack used to say, before he died. Maybe, because Zack had won at strip poker the night before, he needed to lose something, so the higher beings decided to take his life away. It made sense to Cloud. He shined the light to his left, and again to his right. Turning around, he shined the light again, and gasped.

Sitting in the basement was a beautiful black bed. Upon further inspection, Cloud saw that there was a man in the bed, sleeping soundly, curled up like a cat. Cloud approached the sleeping figure nervously, touching the red silk sheets and the bed's black wood frame. He looked down at the sleeping man. His hair was long and unruly-looking, sable locks framing his alabaster face. His facial features were beautiful, and Cloud couldn't resist running his hand across his cheek, as if checking if the man was real, and not made of porcelain. He tucked a raven lock behind the man's ear, smiling down at him, when he noticed his left hand, covered by a large golden glove. Cloud stepped back in surprise. Of course! It all made sense. He took the fair prince's hand in his own and looked down at him. He stared at those tempting, tempting lips and got on his knees.

'Tifa is gonna kill me ten times over for this one…' Cloud took his hand out of the prince's to cup his face in his hands and lean closer, feeling a calm, barely noticeable breath rush across Cloud's cheeks. Cloud licked his lips, not sure whether or not he should be doing this. But then he saw that gorgeous face, and his peaceful expression, and he couldn't resist. He leaned closer and pressed his lips against the other man's.


	2. Damn Fairies

Vincent's first impression of Cloud was that he had very misleading feminine features. He was awoken to the feeling of cool, soft lips against his own, and a hand stroking his face tenderly. He assumed, when his eyes cracked open, that Cloud was a girl from his small nose and long eyelashes. Everything about his face was less-than manly, and Vincent didn't see his hair. Therefore, he wound his fingers through the blond locks, and Cloud melted further into Vincent's body. He nipped at who he assumed was a girl's lips, asking for entrance, only to have his own mouth invaded, a tongue battling with his own. He ran his right arm down Cloud's back, feeling the curves of his sides and using the other hand to twist his hair in his gloved hand. Cloud broke the kiss first, staring warmly into Vincent's crimson eyes. Vincent looked just as happy until he noticed Cloud's hair. And his chest. And Cloud, in general, with his gender. Vincent swallowed thickly.

'Hello,' he started, not sure how to approach the subject, '…you woke me up.'

'Yes, I heard if I gave you a kiss, you would wake up and the spell would be lifted forever and we could get married, but not here, since gay marriage is illegal, but we can pull it off in Costa De Sol, I heard.'

'That's nice and all, but I'm not gay.' Vincent smiled and stood up.

'You are now, buddy,' Cloud rebuked, stepping closer to Vincent.

'My name is Vincent Valentine.'

'You're not gay, though,' Cloud questioned and raised an eyebrow.

'What's _your_ name?' Cloud looked downward; he shouldn't have made a joke about stupid names, and now it had come back to bite him in the ass.

'Cloud…Cloud Strife.' Vincent merely made a noise and turned away to make the bed. Cloud looked expectantly at Vincent.

'What do you want, Strife?'

'You can call me Cloud, and I want you to come with me!'

'No. That won't do. I'm going to go find a girl to marry, now that I'm awake.'

'But I kissed you. I deserve your hand!' Vincent looked down at his left hand, mildly perplexed before he understood what Cloud meant. He thought for a moment of how to get rid of the boy before he came up with something.

'We do not have any rings!'

'What about the ones on the nightstand?' Vincent glanced at the nightstand and swore inwardly. Before he'd gone to sleep, it came to mind that maybe the girl who woke him up didn't have enough money for rings, so he scooted together some Gil and bought a pair of cheap golden bands. Cloud picked the rings up, placing one on his ring finger. It was a perfect fit. Vincent took the other. It was for him, he could tell. Damn, as if it wasn't bad enough that a boy woke him up, but there was no real nice way out of this.

'Alright…Cloud, will you get my shoes?' Cloud looked around.

'You wore everything else to bed, why not your shoes?'

'Have you _seen_ them? They're rather inconvenient. You will know them when you see them. Look for shiny gold.'

'Your shoes are gold?' Cloud thought about bringing up how heterosexual Vincent said he was, but decided against it. Cloud was still unhappy that the dark prince was trying to get out of his deal. Cloud just stood there while he watched the raven haired man search the basement idly. Eventually, his eyes focused on a certain point and he moved to a half-open wardrobe, revealing a pair of pointy-toed golden shoes. They looked like pumps to Cloud.

'Umm…' His clever remark went unnoticed, and Vincent proceeded to move back to the bed to put his shoes on. No wonder he took them off before he cast the spell.

'Why are you staring at me?' Cloud stood up taller.

'I was just thinking that my friend Tifa would like your shoes._ She _doesn't have any that look like that.'

'Hm,' Vincent shrugged off the insult with ease and stood up, just as graceful as before. If anything, with the shoes, he looked even more attractive. Suddenly, there was a tiny glowing orb in-between Cloud and Vincent. The orb grew bigger and bigger until it was an elliptical red blob.

After a few minutes of staring, the red entity formed itself into a human shape in the air, and before our heroes' eyes, turned into a small woman with wings. She had brown hair that was tied into a braid by pink ribbons and bright green eyes. She held what looked like a twig, but was surrounded by a reddish glow. She was small, only three feet or so, and hovered in the air, looking confused.

'Vincent Valentine?' She looked at the taller, brooding man. He nodded.

'You broke the spell. I'm your guardian fairy, Aerith. Pleasure to meet you.' She held out a small hand, which Vincent shook cautiously. Cloud cleared his throat.

'Ahh, you must be the fine gentleman who woke Mr. Valentine up.'

'Yeah…um, this is gonna sound mean, but why are you here?' Aerith blinked for a minute.

'Because you two need help.' Vincent and Cloud scowled in unison.

'We do not,' they mumbled.

'As a couple you do. Listen, Vincent, the way you cast your spell made it so it almost had to be a girl, unless it was someone who would really love you. But, here's the catch. He'll be a great husband later, but the spell isn't completely broken,' Aerith concluded, tapping the glowing stick on her knee. Vincent stared disbelievingly.

'It's not?'

'He isn't a girl, so it's temporary. Occasionally, you'll fall unconscious. Don't worry, you will wake up again, but not until he gives you another kiss,' Aerith said slyly, looking in-between Cloud and Vincent. Vincent sighed unhappily and tugged at his mantle.

'What can lift the spell permanently?'

'There's a little-known village near Wutai of cat-people. The cat people know how to make a special kind of medicine. If you have him rub the medicine on your body, the spell will be lifted,' Aerith said, looking at Vincent, who had been staring at her like she was retarded from the words 'cat-people'.

'…on his body?' Cloud finally asked.

'Yes, on his body. You need to do it at night, too, or the spell won't be lifted.' Cloud sighed at the fairy's words and ran a hand through his hair.

'How will we get to the village of "cat people"?'

'If you go into town, it's not too far of a walk, you can find a girl who has the cat ears and a tail. She's the village princess, but she will never stay in one place. Ask her if she'll give you instructions.' Vincent and Cloud nodded.

'Oh, and one more thing before I leave for now. Beware the silver-haired men.' Cloud raised an eyebrow.

'Who?'

'There's an evil sorcerer, by the name of Sephiroth, who wants Vincent for himself. Nobody knows why, but you'll need to avoid him, and his accomplices, Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz. They all have silver hair and green eyes. Good luck!' She waved to Cloud, and then to Vincent. He had the feeling he'd be seeing Aerith again.

_A/N: XD It just keeps getting crackier and crackier as it progresses. In the next chapter, Vincent and Cloud meet the cat girl, and another familiar face that can offer them transportation. It's not Cid. Don't ask. But you can guess the cat lady!_


	3. Enter the Cat Princess

Aerith had been right; the trip wasn't impossible, but Cloud found it both frustrating and tiring to keep up with Vincent for forty-five minutes while he walked at a surprisingly swift pace for a man in golden high-heels. Cloud resented this. As the small town loomed in the distance, Cloud wondered how much farther it would be until they reached the blasted catgirl.

It turned out to only be a few more minutes of power walking courtesy of the dark-haired prince until they reached a main street. It was evening, and as far as they could tell, the town had not gone to bed yet. Vincent searched through his pockets and dug up enough money for half a room at the local inn. Luckily, Cloud paid for the other half. It was lucky, until they discovered they would be sharing the room…and the bed. Cloud merely swore quietly and walked out of the room, trying to find the catgirl as soon as possible. Vincent followed silently.

'Where do you think she is?' Cloud wondered to Vincent, searching the twilight streets.

'We could ask someone,' Vincent murmured through his red mantle. Cloud looked for someone who appeared to know his or her way around town. He spotted a flashy, gaudy bloke in a visually painful outfit. He wore a gold open vest with red and orange stitching and green beads crossed across his chest, dangling by a thin black thread to keep the vest in place. Most of his chest and stomach was exposed, and he wore a pair of baggy golden pants that matched his vest. His hair was tied in a messy ponytail with a silver ribbon. Cloud tapped him on the shoulder.

'Hnh?' Cloud scowled at the undignified response. Vincent reflected later that if Cloud weren't such an idiot that he thought asking such a queer-looking stranger was a good idea, they wouldn't have had to endure near as much.

'I was wondering something…'

'Yeah?'

'Have you seen a catgirl around?' The man looked at them, blinking stupidly.

'You know what…I think I have,' he said thoughtfully. He held out a hand, bracelets shaking loudly, 'The names Reno, yo, professional traveler.' Cloud took his hand cautiously, feeling multiple rings greet him.

'I'm Cloud…and this is Vincent,' Cloud said after a while, and Reno smirked lazily.

'Ah, okay. So, yeah, I've seen a catgirl. She should be at one of the more low-key bars.' Cloud had been resisting the question since they'd met him, but when Reno moved and a collection of jingly noises came after him, he couldn't help himself from asking:

'What in the hell are you wearing, anyway?'

'Oh, this? This, my friend, is my work attire.' Cloud looked slightly alarmed.

'Oh! Oh, you think I'm a "lady of the night" then, right. Naah,' Reno laughed heartily, and sighed. Actually, Cloud had been thinking he was a clown, and was alarmed because of his deep-set fear of clowns, but now that he thought of it, Reno did give off that kind of air too.

'Nope. I'm actually a street performer, but I travel around. I dance. Mostly exotic dancing and belly dancing, but it pays better than you think. Ladies love me,' he added with a wink. Cloud and Vincent merely nodded while uncomfortable mental images floated through their minds.

'So, you need to see the _fair lady_ Kisaragi?' He smiled and nodded, sniggering at the thought of his feline friend acting lady-like, ignoring their bland looks, and trotted off in the direction of wherever this catgirl was supposed to be. Cloud scurried after him, but Vincent merely strode elegantly in front of him.

It wasn't a far walk, and Reno's lanky stature made for a good pace. The attention-grabbing redhead rushed into the bar without a care in the world, ignoring the overpowering smell of alcohol and what was similar to cheese. It disturbed Vincent.

They found her in the corner of the bar, lazily sipping something through a straw and playing with a deck of cards. Nobody bothered her, except for our intelligent protagonists. Reno sidled into the seat across from her without so much as a hello.

'Reno!' The girl's ears perked up. Cloud felt odd, watching them twitch and flicker like a real feline's. Her tail was tossed to the side of her seat, carefully placed away from the aisle; probably to avoid being stepped on.

'Come on, sit down. She won't bite.' Cloud and Vincent both doubted this, but sat down next to Reno anyway.

'Hi! I'm Yuffie!' The girl held out her hand, which Cloud took, wondering why it wasn't a paw. Vincent did the same.

'Sooo, what's your name?' It didn't take a genius to tell that her question was directed at Vincent. There was an obvious lack of eye contact between Cloud and Yuffie.

'Vincent Valentine,' he said simply. He wasn't fond of talking a lot to people he'd just met.

'Ooooh, like the Prince, Vincent Valentine, who put a spell on himself to escape the melancholy and anguish of past love?'

'Yes, I suppose so,' he said gruffly, giving the feline the cold shoulder; she persisted, though. Reno wondered where she learned the word "melancholy". Or anguish.

'Why are you _here_? Who woke you up? I wanna meet her, see how much cuter I am!'

'Actually…' Vincent shot a meaningful glance at Cloud. Yuffie's eyes widened even further then they already were.

'Oh…oh. I see. That's interesting, for sure,' Yuffie's eyes flashed with curiosity despite her abashed words.

'I did not know that, yo! Soo…are you two, like, a couple?' Reno seemed a lot less comfortable with his partial nudity and scooted to cover his chest with the table.

'Only by force, I swear,' Vincent growled.

'So, Cloud, my chocobo friend, you kissed this beautiful maiden?' Reno pointed at Vincent. Neither Cloud nor Vincent looked terribly pleased with the nicknames, however Reno did not see the death glares they were sending him.

'Yes, I suppose if you wanted to put it that way,' Cloud said through gritted teeth. Yuffie and Reno snickered.

'Sooo, don't you have to get married?' Vincent sighed.

'Since Cloud is a man, we can't just yet,' Vincent stopped to look at Yuffie desperately, hoping to use the obvious infatuation she had over him against Yuffie, 'we need your help, Yuffie,' He took his gloved hand and stroked the top of her hand. She blushed and giggled.

'Why would you need my help?'

'A fai- a friend told us that we needed to go to a village of cat people, because they would have a cure. So we came to see you, knowing that you were kind enough to help us,' he concluded. He had been getting closer and closer to Yuffie while he was talking, and deep inside he hoped she wasn't the kind to take the initiative in a romantic relationship. However, she was so flustered at having the handsome man near her that most thoughts had short-circuited, and she was merely nodding.

'Y-yeah…I'll help 'ya,' she said quietly, looking into his scarlet eyes. Cloud, fuming over the whole thing, pulled Vincent back by his cape and snorted.

'Jealous, eh?' Reno downed the rest of his drink, smirking at Cloud.

'No…I just don't want her to get her hopes up,' Cloud mumbled at the ground, crossing his arms, pouting childishly.

'Suuure, man, sure,' Reno said, relaxing a little from his previous pose. He didn't lean back, though. As queer as the thing was, Cloud had caught himself admiring Reno's vest. It had intricate patterns, and if he weren't trying to convince Reno that he wasn't gay, he would have tried to touch it.

Vincent tapped him on the shoulder.

'Cloud. Yuffie says she can lead us to the village, but we'll need to give her something, preferably money or materia, and we'll still need transportation.'

'I can cover that,' Reno said bluntly, 'I use an old truck, it's got pretty okay mileage.' Cloud smiled.

'Yeah, that sounds fine.'

'Cool, we'll leave in the morning,' He felt Cloud lean closer to Vincent, eyeing Yuffie wearily, to claim his territory; he felt those blond spikes caress his cheek and decided it wasn't a completely unpleasant feeling. In response, Yuffie squirmed closer to Vincent; he felt her ears, which were soft and tipped with red, brush against his neck. He decided he preferred Cloud.

_A/N: So there we have it. Reno and Yuffie are official additions to the team. There will be one more friend/pal before I decide to call it quits. Now, this will be a reader's choice. It can be either Rufus, Zack, or Tseng to play the role of a young emperor who they meet in the near future. _

_And before anyone asks, this is one-sided Yuffentine. The feeling is _not _mutual. You're acutally lucky I have that much het in the story, I didn't expect any before._


	4. CrossDressing Breeds Ill Will

Early the next day, thanks to the combined efforts of Yuffie, who was a morning, afternoon and evening person, and Vincent, who disliked wasting time, Cloud and Reno were tired and moving in a dirty, bumpy old truck towards where Yuffie claimed her hometown was. She said it would take a while, but if they moved at a good pace, they could get there in three day's time. Cloud had looked distraught at the information of spending three days in the same area as Reno, who was telling him about a girl he'd met in a town who was also a dancer, named Elena, and they'd hit it off pretty good.

'My friend Tifa can dance pretty well,' Cloud said, trying to change the conversation from how much better Reno danced than Elena. Cloud was ninety-nine percent sure Reno was homosexual, but he didn't say anything; he looked like the kind of guy who would take offense if he'd said that.

'Oh yeah? What's she like?'

'Great. Really great,' Cloud looked in the backseat, where Vincent was internally moaning in agony as Yuffie's mouth ran on and on about something nobody cared about.

'You know, Tifa really liked you, Vincent,' Cloud looked somewhat guilty.

'I promised her I'd bring your unconscious body back so she could kiss you.'

'Why didn't you? It might have worked out better for me. I wouldn't have to marry a boy, and I wouldn't have to travel to the obscure corners of the world just so I don't fall unconscious in the middle of the day.' Yuffie and Reno looked confused.

'Oh, well, you see, because I'm not a boy, and I woke Vincent up, I haven't broken the spell completely. Aerith told us he'd fall unconscious in the afternoon,' Cloud explained. Yuffie giggled.

The next few hours progressed slowly for Vincent. He sat as far away from Yuffie as he could and tried to block out her mindless chatter, but it was to no avail. She penetrated his mental boundaries and yapped on and on about nothing. Things weren't going as bad for Cloud, who was annoyed by Reno's flaming gayness but could hold up a decent conversation with the guy.

At what seemed like one in the afternoon, Reno and Cloud's feeble conversation was interrupted by a pleased squeal from the backseat. Cloud looked back to see Vincent, sleeping soundly in Yuffie's lap. She was beaming and flailing her arms.

'It was so quick! I was just talking about this guy I met named Gregory when he just fell into my lap!' She pet his hair cautiously and giggled when he made no move to stop her. Cloud and Reno turned around again and rolled their eyes. Cloud liked Vincent, but there was no use trying to pry him out of Yuffie's grasp. As Reno turned back towards the road, he noticed a hooded figure standing in his way.

'Shit! Shit!' Reno shoved his foot on the brakes and barely missed the figured. It slinked to where Reno was and leaned down.

'Can I _help _you, yo?' The figure smirked and pulled down it's hood. Cloud's eyes widened at a shock of long, silver hair and neon green eyes.

'Hello. I'm Yazoo,' the voice purred, soft and silky.

'Wait? You're male?' Cloud looked suspiciously at the man, wondering why someone with such an obviously male voice would be wearing eyeliner and eyeshadow; tacky eyeshadow at that. His lips looked like the pink color was painted on, and he smirked.

'Yes,' he reached to open the dark cloak, revealing a sparkly purple top underneath and manicured nails. He leaned casually against the vehicle.

'Sorry, man, we don't want any of your services,' Reno tried to get him to leave. It didn't really work, as Yazoo leaned into the car, slender elbows resting near Reno's hand.

'Ohh, I'm not trying to sell you anything, but I wanted to know if you had a man by the name of Valentine in the car. My…brothers and I wanted to ask him a few questions.'

'Nope, nobody by the name of Valentine in here,' Cloud stammered, hoping that Yuffie wasn't too thick to realize this guy was no good. She kept herself occupied and away from dealing with Yazoo by stroking Vincent's hair further, avoiding eye contact.

'Sorry, Yazoo, but we don't know him,' Reno shrugged and looked downcast.

'Where are you heading?'

'I don't see how that's your business,' Yuffie said smartly.

'I'm sorry! I didn't realize you had a…a _cat_ in the car.' Yazoo's lip turned in disgust and walked to a motorcycle neither Reno nor Cloud had noticed there.

'That dude freaked me out,' Reno finally said at last, exhaling and slumping in his seat.

'It was a dude?' Reno laughed in relief as he heard Yuffie's bright voice. Reno looked at Vincent.

'How do we wake him up?' He started to poke the raven-haired man's face, but his hand was swatted away by Cloud.

'I have to kiss him again.' Cloud blushed and Yuffie squealed. Reno squeaked in terror at the thought of two men kissing, despite his own confused ideas.

'Let's wait…'

'No, Reno, you ass. I wanna see it!' Reno sighed in defeat. Yuffie could be threatening when she wanted to, and he accepted this. Cloud moved his body into a thoroughly uncomfortable position in the truck and leaned down to press a light butterfly kiss to his mouth. Vincent's eyes opened and he felt a sense of déjà vu, for good reason. Yuffie smiled down at him, her eyes bright with such a sight. Cloud leaned back again, only seconds before he realized that he had fallen asleep in Yuffie's lap.

'Can we _go_ now?' Reno said impatiently.

'Yeah, sure, sure.'

After about an hour, they saw the lights of a town. A signpost told them it would be another twenty miles. As they moved sluggishly across the expanse of land, Reno yawned as he glared at the familiar landscape.

'Ooh, what's that?' Yuffie pointed out the window to a roadside inn. Just what they needed. Pulling in gratefully, our weary travelers stumbled out of the car, enjoying the feeling of walking again, and into the inn. It was a pleasant place, with a spicy aroma and warm, cozy lighting. The new arrivals were loud and conspicuous. Yuffie and Reno argued loudly as Reno's beads clattered around him; Vincent's shoes, although the man himself was quiet as the dark, clanked noisily as he made a step, and Cloud was talking to Vincent about something that required a raised voice level. The only other patrons, two strange men in white robes sitting in the corner, looked up to see the new visitors. The shorter one whispered something to his dark-haired accomplice, who merely nodded and eyed the group carefully. A short, busty woman greeted them and set them up for a room. They sat down in the biggest table, across from the strangers in white. Reno gulped as he felt the blond one's eyes on his back, staring him down as if he was on display. Ages went by before the woman came back and set the drinks down on the table. Reno took this as a symbol to concentrate on the company more and the young man behind him less. No such luck, however. The man came to him, tapping him on the shoulder. Reno turned around, looking confused. Where he thought he would see short blond hair, he only saw long, black tresses, tied in a neat ponytail, unlike his own.

'Hiya,' Reno chirped, waving half-heartedly.

'Hello. My name is Tseng, and my friend would like to speak with you,' he replied in a deep voice, grabbing Reno roughly; not being the kind to make a fuss over something not-that-important, Reno stood up and walked towards the other table, trying to forget his new friend's strange looks.

_A/N: Well, Rufus won the voting thingy, because my friends, who read this story on a different site, told me Rufus made the most sense. And I decided, from a very englightening review here, that Rufus needs an advisor, and Tseng made a lot of sense. I would put Zack in, but we already have Yuffie and Reno, so our shennanigans part of the team is covered. I know I didn't spell shennanigans right._


	5. The Handsome Prince Larxene

_Note: Rufus' alias __A thousand apologies. I could not think of anything else, and their hair is so similar, I couldn't resist. I'm so sorry XD…_

_Also: Warning: OOC Vincent, includes cuddly sleepiness. _

Reno shifted nervously in his seat, as the dark-haired man Reno now knew was Tseng gazed at him. Reno cleared his throat.

'Yeah…so, what do you want me for?' The other man smiled from under his hood.

'We'd just like to buy you a drink, and ask a few questions,' Reno swallowed but nodded.

'Yeah, I'd like a drink. What kind of questions?' The man smiled, pulling down his hood. Neatly groomed blond hair and piercing blue eyes greeted him. A self-assured smirk graced his lips. Reno looked at him curiously.

'I know you from somewhere, yo,' he leaned forward to stare at the young man.

'I doubt it, I'm just a traveler,' he waved his hand dismissively, dismissing the notion.

'No, no, I think I do. You don't happen to come from some kind of lesser royalty, do you?'

'No, I do not,' Tseng chuckled knowingly at the comment.

'Huh…'cos I used to entertain…'

'I know, I'm aware of who you are, Reno.' Reno pulled back, eyes widening comically.

'Now I don't like that, why should you know who I am, but I don't even know your name,' he reasoned.

'I'm terribly sorry. My name is Larxene.'

'That's not a name you hear everyday, yo.' Larxene smirked, leaning towards Reno.

'Neither is Reno, really,' he replied.

'Got me there, buddy,' Reno tipped back in his chair, draining the remainder of his drink.

'So, Reno, who are your friends?'

'Them? Traveling companions. The chocobo-looking one and the scary one want to get to the cat village, and Yuffie's gonna help them. I own the transportation.' Larxene smiled victoriously and exchanged a look with Tseng.

'What a coincidence. We were headed the same way.'

'Yeah? Why?'

'It doesn't concern you right now, but let's just say I have a problem.' Reno looked thoughtful for a moment.

'I don't have enough room, though,' he concluded. Tseng smiled.

'Transportation won't be a problem, I have the new model by Shin-Ra, and it can hold your friends as well.'

'No fucking way, awesome. Then it's settled,' Reno said with a lopsided grin, standing.

'It was nice meeting you, Reno. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow,' Larxene shook his hand.

'No! You get to sit with us! You need to know everyone, after all.' He took Larxene by the hand, Tseng following behind, terribly amused, as Reno introduced him to Cloud, Vincent and Yuffie.

'Oh, and this is Tseng,' he pointed behind him. The two sat down, settling into the polite conversation, which mainly consisted of Yuffie and Reno; Vincent rarely spoke, and Cloud seemed uncomfortable with his setting.

After an hour, Larxene and Tseng had moved their way into the group, Tseng falling into the same category as Vincent and Cloud, rarely speaking, and Larxene held a steady conversation with Reno. Everyone was content with his or her positions, until Vincent fell into Cloud's lap. Larxene and Tseng looked alarmed, staring at the unconscious man.

'W-Why did he…?' Yuffie chuckled awkwardly.

'Oh, he must just be really, really, tired. He did a lot of work today, and maybe he…yeah. Cloud, maybe you could get him to bed.' Cloud nodded, throwing Vincent's arm over his shoulder and dragging him where the innkeeper said the rooms were.

'So, they're a couple?'

'In the oddest sense, they could be. The don't want to be, but they are,' Yuffie explained, not expecting either of them to understand. Larxene sipped his drink, not thinking about it much longer than a few seconds.

Cloud pulled Vincent up the stairs, silently cursing the man's weight and stupid spell. Vincent wrapped his arms subconsciously tighter around Cloud's neck, breathing deeply. He snorted in defiance, shoulder's slumping with relief as he saw the bedroom door. He opened it swiftly, tossing Vincent's body carelessly on the bed. He put his hands on his hips, looking at the man, sprawled on the bed.

'Well, it's not too much of a burden. He is very handsome asleep,' Cloud mused, caressing Vincent's lips with the soft pad of his thumb. He leaned in to kiss him when a familiar voice, kind, but full of so much intent, stopped him.

'That won't work, you know,' she said calmly, flittering towards Cloud. He glared at the fragile girl.

'And why exactly won't it work?' Aerith giggled. It sounded innocent to the average passer-by, but Cloud saw it as a devious thing.

'You _should _be asleep at night, so the spell is much stronger! If you really want him up, you need to up the ante a little, Cloud.'

'If you mean anything involving the removal of clothing, it's out. No.'

'Don't get ahead of yourself, Cloud! You just might need to put a little more feeling into it, and even after that, I can't guarantee anything more than a _very _drowsy brooding prince.'

'Good enough. I don't want to go back out there without him, and if I don't, I know assumptions will be made.' Aerith nodded her small head, leaning back against a lamp.

'Well? Go ahead. I want to talk to him.' Cloud turned back to the prince, who was sleeping soundly. He pulled Vincent into a sitting position for a fiery kiss, plundering his mouth and situating himself in the other man's lap, wrapping his legs around his torso.

'C-Cloud?' Cloud smiled at Vincent, who was blinking tiredly.

'You're awake, then!' Vincent smiled, wrapping his arms around Cloud and dragging him down back onto the bed. The alert signals in Cloud's head went off loud and clear, and Cloud resisted, before he heard Vincent's breathing steadying.

'Please…don't go.' Aerith cooed in the corner, watching the scene unfold. Her wings glittered gleefully as she fluttered to Vincent's pillow.

'Vinnncent.' He opened his eyes sleepily.

'I'm tired, what do you want?'

'I wanted you to know something.' She laid down flat on her stomach, staring Vincent in the face.

'That is?' He yawned quietly.

'That man out there? The blond one? His name isn't Larxene.'

'It's not?' Vincent wasn't really interested; he just wanted to go to sleep.

'No. That's Rufus, the president of Shin-Ra and emperor of a small country that's in charge of most of the world's chocobos.'

'Chocobos?' he looked at Cloud.

'Yeah. And Tseng's his advisor. You can trust him, but I just thought you might want to know that. You don't have to tell anyone. You can sleep now, Vincent,' Aerith kissed his forehead in a motherly way before disappearing again. Vincent noticed that Cloud had gotten much tenser.

'I don't like that,' he said.

'Tell me in the morning. Stay?'

'Fine…I'll stay. But you better not try anything.' Vincent raised an eyebrow.

'You shouldn't worry. And _you're_ the one who kissed _me_. I should be worried about you.' His words were empty though, because he tightened his grip on Cloud's waist as he fell asleep, face buried in his neck. Cloud sighed and drifted into sleep too, Vincent's warm body pressed against his own.

_A/N: Once again, I am dreadfully sorry. But Rufus would just slick his loose hair back into antenna, the only thing that would be different is eye colour. Stay tuned for the next chapter, which involves something pointless and random because the plot is moving to quickly for me, so there shall be filler._


	6. Her Name was Lucrecia

_A/N: This chapter is kinda short because it acts as filler until the next chapter, when more interesting things will happen. _

Cloud awoke with a yawn, forgetting momentarily where he was until he saw a mess of raven hair nestled in his neck. His body froze and he gulped. Looking down, he saw that Vincent was still sound asleep. He glanced up, expecting to see Reno or Yuffie grinning madly down at him, but the room was empty. He shifted, feeling Vincent's arms tighten around his waist.

'No. Bad…Vincent,' he scolded, trying to pry him off. He scooted his way to the edge of the bed and slinked off quietly, not intending on disturbing the other man. He made his way down the stairs, hoping to eat some breakfast in peace before waking up Reno and Yuffie. Imagine Cloud's chagrin when he discovered that Reno, Yuffie, Larxene (or Rufus) and Tseng were already awake. As expected, sly glances were thrown his way, and all he could do was sigh. Reno slung an arm over his shoulder in a friendly manner. Cloud was growing to dislike Reno in the mornings, because he was much friendlier and less cynical. Cloud liked cynical Reno.

'How was your night, chocobo?' Cloud growled.

'I don't like being called a chocobo. And nothing happened,' he snarled at Reno, finding himself a cup of coffee on the counter and drinking it down in a few deep gulps.

'Oi, I never implied something _did _happen. You just jumped to conclusions. Trying to hide something?'

'No! No. How was your night, Reno,' he countered.

'That is not the point, yo,' he leaned back in his chair languidly, propping his feet on the table.

'Get your feet off the table, Reno,' Yuffie shrieked, but Reno just rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out.

'What harm'll it do?'

'You might have an infection or something; it's not safe.'

'Neither is your stalker-ish obsession with Valentine, but I don't go around screaming about diseases from that.'

'That's different! And I'm not a stalker,' she scowled, her pointed ears flattened. Cloud was watching with keen interest. At least the subject wasn't him anymore.

Yuffie and Reno were enjoying each other's morning energy when Vincent descended the plain wooden staircase leading to the rooms, and then all their attention was transferred to him. Neither Vincent nor Cloud looked too happy about it as Yuffie weaved her arm through Vincent's and chatted happily with him.

For someone so brooding, Vincent was probably in his best mood in the morning. In fact, he waited a good ten minutes before he tried to work his way out of the catgirl's chatty presence. Cloud tapped his fingers lazily against the sturdy wooden table as Yuffie and Reno hovered around Vincent menacingly. Finally, Vincent took his seat across from Cloud. Cloud kept his head down, to escape Vincent's apathetic crimson eyes. He was embarrassed about the night before; he wasn't used to acting so romantically with another man, or anyone for that matter.

'Good morning,' Cloud said, his voice muffled because his face wasn't very far from the table.

'Good morning, Cloud,' Vincent returned as pleasantly as he could without actually looking Cloud in the eye; Cloud made sure he couldn't. Finally, after a quick mental pep talk, Cloud raised his head slowly and locked his cerulean eyes with Vincent's scarlet ones.

'Listen, Vincent, about last night…I can't help but feel that I-'

'Why? What happened last night?' Vincent's face paled a little, making Cloud laugh nervously.

'No! No, we didn't…but—'

'Never mind, I'd rather not hear about it; as long as nothing happened,' Vincent interrupted, sipping his tea. Cloud sighed in disappointment. It made him feel even worse if Vincent wasn't guilty.

After about fifteen minutes, Larxene and Tseng made their way down stairs, and were treated with not much more than a simple 'good morning'. They weren't familiar to anyone except Reno, after all. Reno pushed the lukewarm coffee pot in their direction and struck up a pleasant conversation.

'So, Larxene, you told me you had a problem. I'm not taking you anywhere unless you explain.'

'I thought we said Tseng would drive,' Larxene countered calmly.

'Yeah, well, I'm…I'm not letting Yuffie tell you where to go.'

'Yuffie likes Tseng, I'm sure she'll tell him,' Larxene said. Tseng nodded.

'She's been asking me questions all morning,' he said, and Reno could hear Tseng's teeth grinding. Common side-effect of prolonged exposure to Yuffie in a good mood.

'Alright. I still want to know, though. Won't you tell me?' He put on a sad expression that had always won over his old partner on the road when Reno wanted to do something different than him. Rufus smirked.

'Maybe once I trust you, Reno.' Reno sighed, accepting his temporary defeat.

Reno had never been in a Shin-Ra car before. He'd only seen them a few times, but he never dreamed he'd be able to get inside such a vehicle. It was much nicer than his truck, but he had to face the facts: a box with wheels would be better than his truck. Yuffie sat comfortably in the backseat, enjoying the room it provided; now she didn't have to sit on her tail. Cloud sat next to her, and Vincent sat in the next seat up, with Larxene. Tseng drove the car while Reno sat with him. Yuffie and Cloud spent their time comparing the car to Reno's truck, and Yuffie smiled with delight when she realized it contained the miracle of air-conditioning. Reno snorted indignantly.

'My truck worked. Otherwise, you all would be walking, yo.'

'Sorry, Reno, but this car is actually nice!' Cloud and Vincent snickered quietly as Reno fumed in the front seat. Yuffie's ears were perked pryingly as Cloud and Vincent conversed quietly about their situation.

'No…I don't see why I have to do that, Cloud.'

'But Aerith said—'

'Aerith is interested in personal gain too, Cloud. She could be tricking you.'

'No! Aerith is a kind person, I can feel it. But I don't like how she kissed you last night.'

'Cloud…' Vincent looked downward.

'Vincent, I'm not saying I'm jealous, but it just made me feel odd,' he scratched the back of his neck.

'Cloud, you know I loved someone else, don't you?'

'Yeah, princess Euphemia, or Cornelia or something—'

'Lucrecia.'

'Whatever, but that's why you put a spell on yourself. So you wouldn't have to deal with her, right?'

'She left me, had a child with another person, and tried to kill herself. It hasn't been a pleasing experience for me.' Cloud nodded.

'See! You need to forget about Lucrecia. It'll be good for you, Vincent.' Cloud put his hand on Vincent's.

'We're not getting married.'

'I'll give you time. But what about Sephiroth, Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz. We can't forget that you need to get away from them and lift the curse.'

'That only requires medicine, not marriage,' Vincent hissed.

'We should ask Aerith the next time we see her,' Cloud retorted.

'Speaking of which, isn't there a way to call her or something?'

'I don't know, I'd never seen her before recently. She only shows up to say something unfortunate anyway,' Vincent snapped. Cloud sighed. When Vincent got cantankerous, it was best to leave him alone for a while. He was pretty scary-looking for a guy in yellow pumps, and Cloud didn't intend to see what kind of wrath he could unleash.

Three hours later, when Reno and Tseng went inside a small store to get drinks and food, Vincent passed out on the floor of the car. A quick lie was made about how Vincent had a problem where he he fell asleep randomly, and Cloud decided to try out a theory. If he put more romance into the kiss, he wanted to see if Vincent would stay awake longer. Trying out his idea, he heard Yuffie squeak in delight/shock as Cloud shifted Vincent on his lap for the kiss. He explored Vincent's mouth hungrily, trying his hardest to add as much passion as possible.

'Cloud, man, stop it,' he heard Reno call in an amused voice from the front of the car, looking at the scene with his eyebrows raised and a devious smile on his face as Vincent stared at Cloud in horror, breathing softly and trying to pull away from Cloud's grip on his cloak desperately. Cloud blushed. Maybe his plan should have been carried out in a more private setting.

_A/N: Sorry for the late update, but I was busy with It Takes Chemistry and I went on vacation. Then I had writer's block. So it's late for all those reasons. I'll try to keep it on track now, though. _


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